I could pretend that today was a good day. I can think about and list all the wonderful things that happened today. And even outwardly everything appeared totally fine. If you had asked me I would have said that I was doing awesome. Dad even told me that I seem like “a new Radha.” I felt pretty good. But then bed time comes around. I go up to my room and lie down. And all the sadness catches up to me. My brain goes through all these scenarios and feelings that I cannot even bear to express. I’m struggling so much rfight now.

I did all the right things today. I got up early. I took my medicine. I worked on some things on my computer. I got a tiny bit of work done. I signed up to start writing a novel next month. Even downloaded the free trial software. In the evening I finally got to workout at the gym! And can you believe it? I went on a run too. I helped out in the kitchen with dinner prep and dinner clean up. I accomplished so much today. I ought to feel great. And all during the day, I did. Until now.

I’m feeling like I just can’t do this anymore. I cried. But I have to keep persevering. I have to. I just plain have to keep going. It’s the only way. Every day is a fight against myself. But tomorrow is a new day of life. And I have everything good to look forward to.

I hope my medicine kicks in soon because I really want to just sleep. I want tomorrow to hurry up and get here. Because I can’t wait for tomorrow to be a good day.